A lot can change in a year...

So I've deleted this blog, revamped it, changed it, hated it, but ultimately, I still want somewhere to write a bunch of thoughts that may or may not have to do with exercise or running.  And while I still plan on keeping my fitness blog, this is a good place to lay down all those wandering thoughts I still have and still feel the intense need/desire to share.

So where were you a year ago today?

Think about that for maybe five minutes.  I can tell you I was working at Fox Speech Therapy, frustrated and fed up with the way I was treated as an employee; completely exhausted with work.  I was smitten with a boy who had potential and was (and honestly still is) genuinely a great guy.  I was driving Adele (my 2001 dodge stratus from high school).  I was living at home (in Montross).  And I had just taken my board certification exam for OT.

And today all of that has changed.  Drastic right? But a lot can happen in a year.  You can quit jobs, take time off, and find new jobs within a matter of weeks.  You can have your heart broken and not even be in love.  You can buy a new car (I love Ollie by the way - my 2009 Nissan Xterra).  You can move - twice even.  Yep I did that.  Moved twice.  And you can be an OT for a whole year in a completely different field.

It's funny because day by day, nothing seems to change, but when you look at it, everything is different.  All just life lessons learned I suppose.

Toying Around...

I don't always share my weight loss story with everyone...mainly because it's not quite finished yet. But last week, I mentioned to a co-worker that in grad school, I decided to become a healthier, fitter version of myself shedding close to 75lbs.

And you know how the story goes.  One person tells someone who tells someone who tells someone and the list goes on.  I'm very proud of myself in this regard as it's not only hard to lose weight, but it's hard to lose weight the right way and keep it off.  A few of the med-techs that I work with suggested that I start a fitness/health blog.  Now, who am I to give advice on anything?  My schooling is in Rehabilitation and I don't really feel competent enough in lifestyle and wellness to give advice to others.  Although, I do think somewhere down the line I want to study wellness and life coaching/personal training to help others.

Anyways, so I'm toying with the idea of revamping this blog or starting a new one that focuses on health/fitness/running.  I'm hoping that it will keep me more accountable to posting every once in a while as well.

I'll keep you updated here about what I figure out/decide.  But I think I have some good ideas...

Happy Trails.

It's only okay when I say it

Recently, having experienced both the loss and heartbreak of people very close to me, I find myself looking for an outlet to write my words and thoughts down.  One thing I've found, especially recently, is that keeping everything in is detrimental.  So here's my outlet and here's today's fathomable thoughts.

My favorite quote for the past few months has been "You realize you're not alone right?  No one in their twenties has life figured out.  It's okay to be a mess.  You're living."  I find this not only soothing and comforting, but absolutely 100% true.

Over the past year, I've experienced many changes: a new job (twice), graduating college, moving out (twice), buying a new car, loss, death, and heartbreak.  My confidence has been shaken, my trust broken, and my so called life turned upside down and inside out.  All the while, life moves on waiting for no one.  No matter the cause - death, heartbreak, stress, etc.  These changes are enough to make one question their self worth and ability.  And while I've often said that I don't feel like I have my life together, I never realized how far from the truth that really was.

I've always had an idea of what life would look like at 20, 25, 40 etc.  And everything I imagined, has turned out differently than expected.  I thought at 25, I would wildly successful at my job, in love or at least seriously dating someone, have my own place - basically everything that says success in today's world.  So far, I find that it will probably be years before I'm anywhere near confident with my OT skills, experienced one hell of a heart break, and rent an apartment in my friend's house.

Tonight at a bar, my friends were talking with some guys.  This 34 year old made the comment that he couldn't date anyone under the age of 28 because girls younger than that "don't know what they fucking want..."  My friend's response was "Well, Tristan is 25, has her Master's degree and runs about 25 miles a week.  I'd say she's pretty successful and knows what she wants..."

And that's when it dawned on me. Even when I feel that I don't have my shit together, I do.  I've come a long way, worked really hard, and experienced a lot to make me who I am.  I may be 25 and feel like a complete and total mess, but at least I'm living.  And I'm the only one who can say whether it's right or wrong.