Christmas comes and goes...

My favorite holiday all year long is Christmas Eve. There's excitement in the atmosphere. The hustle and bustle of the Christmas season has finally settled down. All the presents have been bought and it's time to spend time with your family. Snuggled around the fire place, or the very least the Christmas tree watching one last Christmas movie before they stop running on tv. It's my favorite because everything is calm and everyone remembers the true meaning of Christmas. We have a tradition at my mom's house where we get to open one Christmas present on Christmas Eve. Usually it's Christmas Pajamas, this year it was a calendar (which I love because it's a running calendar!!). Riley got a kitten - which we all adore very much.

And the next morning is euphoria for every little kid that ever dreamt of Santa. After a mass of presents and an adrenaline rush one that's almost as good from running - the calm hits again. This time though it's different. Disappointment fills the air. The fun has come and gone. There are tons of presents and lots of smiles to show for it - but there's a void and almost a depressing feeling that comes from this beautiful and forgotten holiday.

The beauty of it is, that among all of the disappointment, lies something greater that cannot be taken away. The birth of Christ which leads into our salvation - truly the greatest Christmas gift ever given. So even though Christmas comes and goes, we have the comfort of knowing that Christ lives in us and with us forever.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!!!

Ready to Go

I'll admit, last night was a little scary. The past few days have been fine. Ashley and Whitney left on Thursday so it's just been Me and Morgan hanging out and trying to stay safe. Thursday Audrey and Joanna came over and we had a slumber party so that was pretty distracting. Friday night everyone came into town for graduation, so there were a lot of cars and people which actually made me feel pretty safe. But then last night...Oh last night was sketch. I got back from Joanna's house around 10 or so and when I pulled on to the main road (Bradley Drive) by my apt, this car started to follow me. I had parked my car in front of the townhouse but I didn't get out. The went by really slowly and then circled around again. Chances are they were probably trying to find someone's apartment, but it was just so creepy. Especially since it was kind of deserted in HR last night.

Anyways, I got up at 5:30 this morning so I could have my quiet time and now I'm pretty much just waiting for a little more light outside before I can go on my run. I was going to run 7 miles today, but I still have to pack my car and shower before church at 9:30 so it looks like a 5 mile day. Hopefully over the break I'll up some more mileage. I might even try to get Tina to run with me. We'll see.

All in all, I survived last night, but I probably woke up about 6-8 times during the night because of little noises here or there. How long til I move out???

A typical night in the Ridge

All alone in the house,
girls lay in their beds,
scared out of their minds,
bad dreams in their heads

Car engines fire,
and some people chatter,
the cops pull up
and the scary ones scatter

The doors are all locked,
the windows sealed tight,
darkness fills the room,
no room for the light

Their tvs are on,
to mask all the noise,
of footsteps crunching,
from ghetto gangster boys

You gather your courage,
as you sit in the car,
from front seat to door,
it seems pretty far

Have your keys ready,
and make like a flash,
go as fast as you can,
like the 50 yard dash

A rustle breaks out,
and blue lights surround,
someone's been shot,
it's now going down

You'd think that a gun fight,
or even a quarrel,
would be far from the minds,
of grad student girls

But they live in the ghetto,
and it's not always safe,
carry a small knife,
or carry some mace

You never know,
what the breeze will say,
if you wanna see daylight,
better stop and pray

The end is near...

...or not.

Let's face. Every final week is stressful, full of projects, final exams, 20 page essays...why should this week be any different?? It's not, except for the fact that I'm starting to lose my sanity. Monday was exam #1 which did not go so well even though I felt generally prepared for it. Today was round 2 and 3. Yes, two exams, back to back. Grueling, grueling, grueling. Not only was our evidence based practice exam hard, but it contained so much information that wasn't even covered in class. Fun. My pediatric exam at least contained terms and principles of which I had heard before, despite that it was about 10 pages of short answer questions.

Lucky me, the fun continues tomorrow for my last and hardest exam of the semester. It's also worth 25%. And have I started studying for it yet?? Of course not. Poor planning? Maybe. But thus far in the semester I've done a great job of balancing school work, my spiritual life, and working out. All in all, I actually have a really awesome grade in the class I just hope one test that I may or may not do poorly on doesn't reflect the effort I've put into the class.

The sucky thing is, the exam is not until 5PM tomorrow night. While this is good for my studying efforts, not so good since I'll be tired and probably worn out. There is a special service at church tomorrow night which I am really looking forward to.

On another note, I've been running quite a bit this week which makes me feel awesome. Each day I run up this gigantic hill at the end of my run. Any and each time I do it, it's a struggle. But I'm learning to look for the positive in things. And there are some even in running

I have to look at every hill as an opportunity: an opportunity to pass the next person, an opportunity to challenge myself, an opportunity to become something better than what I am. Because if you never look for the good in things, you'll never find it.

Something that God's teaching me

One of the coolest things that God is teaching me is that you can find God anywhere you look for Him.

For example, call it far-fetched but there is a parallel between following Christ and running. Both require sacrifice and discipline. In running, I have to sacrifice my time (especially on long runs), my money, my sleep, and even my body (the lost toenails, the sore knees, and the tendinitis). I have to be disciplined and make myself run even on the days when I all I want to do is stay in bed and sleep. But it's my love for running and crossing the finish line that gets me passed the sacrifices and the discipline. Following Christ also requires sacrifice. I must sacrifice trying to be in control, doing things my own way, and living in worldly ways. It too, requires discipline. Having a personal relationship sounds easy, but sitting down each day, really looking at the Bible and what it has to offer, and then applying to my life, is difficult. I'm the only one who is control of disciplining myself to make sure it happens. It's a difficult skill to learn, even harder to teach.

Like running, following Christ means submitting yourself to something or someone else so that you can be better than what you are.

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus... -Hebrews 12:1-2

A revelation: the difference between a good day and a great day

A good day used to be a day where I got enough sleep, worked out hard, lost a pound or two, enjoyed coffee, friends, class went relatively fast, went for a run, read a good book, was productive, etc. A great day looks relatively the same with one main difference. A great day is when I get to read my bible and spend time with Jesus. All of these other things may or may not happen, but spending time with Him is the key part of my day.

I've been devoted to spending some time each day learning about God's truth and it has made a huge difference in my life. I actually love spending time reading my bible, I find myself with a more positive and encouraging attitude, I make an effort to be more generous, I am willing to serve in ways that I hadn't been interested in before. I try to have my quiet time in the morning before class. And I can definitely tell a difference in my actions and words if I wait until the evening to do it.

Right now, I'm still learning about being content in God and letting Him fill in all the blanks. I'll admit that it's not always easy to sit patiently. But I know how worth it will be when I see His plans unfold for my life. The coolest thing for me is that I've never been as content and satisfied with my life as I am now. I know this comes only from the peace that God gives, but it truly is life changing. I know I don't have to look back on my life and regret where I've been, because I know that God has forgiven me. But it is really cool to look back and see the drastic difference of where I was and where God is leading me.

Sometimes all I want is a good cry

Lately I find that I have the ability to cry on demand. It just so happens, I'm not the one who's commanding it. In the past few weeks or so, I've cried at church during the service, during my quiet time, in class, at my fieldwork, at home, in my car...you get the picture. I wouldn't say that I'm an overly sensitive person because, like most girls do, I have the ability to decompress my feelings to the point of a breakdown. An occassional comment or sappy movie does catch me off my game. But lately, when I truly feel the need for a good cry, I haven't been able to have one.

I wonder if it's because I'm so exhausted or just emotionally blunt right now. I'm not sure. So here goes the quest for the perfect sappy movie. New to follow...