Fake It Til You Make It

If I've learned anything over these past 8 months after grad school, it's that life does not always go according to plan.  In 8 months, I've held two different jobs, lived in (essentially) three different places, lost relationships, made relationships, cried a whole hell of a lot, and well you can see the list goes on.  

I didn't know exactly what life post-grad school would like, but I certainly didn't imagine it to be like this. I love working - it gives me that sense and feel of accomplishment, not to mention that I have the opportunity to help people better themselves.  I love spending time with my friends and family - everyone needs that support system (especially on those terribly, awful, yucky very bad days).  I even love that I'm figuring out who I am again and what I really want from  life.

The past few months (and even days) I feel like I've been drowning.  There's nothing to hold onto - no goals to work towards; nothing to keep me motivated.  I've gotten to the point where running and working out has become a minimal occurrence.  That was the kind of thing that used to drive me. For a while, I've been feeling like I've slipped through the cracks and I'm doing everything in my control to keep hanging on.  Life is much busier, much harder, and more unfair than I had anticipated.  Where are the college classes that teach you how to manage your finances (loans, bills, pay checks, etc.)?  Where were the classes that taught you how to manage with the stress, anxiety, or depression that sets in on your doorstep when you enter the real world?  These were just a few of the things that I was unprepared for. 

Finally, after some time, I feel I'm getting acclimated to the expectations and demands forced upon me as a working adult.  And somehow I'm starting to manage it all and beginning to find time for myself again. I was reminded this weekend that "Even on the really bad days, you know the ones where you feel like you can't go on? Well, I just have to look and think my track record with bad days is 100% and that's a pretty good record..."  In other words just fake it til you make it.  Eventually things can only get better.