Insecurity

Let me start out by saying, that this past weekend was so fun. On Friday, my whole class presented our Master's thesis. While this was not fun, everyone worked so hard and really set the bar high. Friday night we went out to dinner and drinks with some of the professors and then first thing Saturday I drove to Richmond to have some quality best friend time with Kim. As soon as I got there, Kim and I went on a 5.5 mile run. An easy feat, yes, but very difficult when it's 80 degrees outside. Then we went on a massive shopping trip which was very therapeutic. Laura told me recently that "shopping is a feeling" and I'm starting to believe it. Sunday we ran the mud run where I gashed my knee by sliding down a wall and hitting concrete. Not fun, but all the attention made me feel hardcore. This week has been a full week of clinicals for me at UVa. While it has been an amazing experience, this week has left me very insecure. In the mornings I'm getting up at 4:30/4:45 every morning just to read my bible, get ready, and then commute. But my quiet times feel rushed and I feel like I haven't seen God evidently working in my life. And I don't like that. I also haven't run much this week. Mostly because I'm tappering down for a race, but I feel insecure right now about my ability to run. I'm wondering how I'll be able to maintain. I'm even insecure in my clinical abilities. Because the patients are so fragile in the neuro ward, I don't get to do as much as I would like and feel that I'm not really good enough. I don't if it's the exhaustion of the week or just being overly emotional right now but it's rough. I've noticed that when insecurity strikes in one area of life, it often overflows into others. I'm not really sure what I can do to get rid of this feeling except take tomorrow as a new day and try not to take everything so personally. I guess we're all insecure about something. And if you say you're not, then you're probably lying. Anyways, tomorrow will be a new day.